Values and Ethos of Conscious Heart Psychology
This website is devoted to all the weird, intense, wonderfully eccentric, highly sensitive empaths, inherently gifted, and atypical humans, referred to commonly as the neurodiverse population.
You’ve arrived. Welcome, you all are welcome here.
The term “Neurotypical” denotes persons with typical, normative developmental, emotional, intellectual, and cognitive abilities. Convergently, neuro-atypical is anyone who sees the world with a multi-focal lens, thinks multi-dimensionally and has exceptional traits (both adaptive and not so adaptive) that vary from the norm. You might also find that you are Neuro-atypical because you’ve always felt different from the others, somehow you never “got the memo” that others did growing up or you think at light speed with several million tabs open and don’t understand why others can’t keep up with you.
The acknowledgment of these trait differences is not merely a division by labelling; it’s a crucial step towards recognizing and acknowledging the innate, unique needs and diverse experiences of neuroatypical individuals. Neurodivergence is not a disorder per se, but is a divergence from the typical consensus-accepted functioning of how the human cortex operates.
Your Emotional Intensity and Sensitivity is considered to be a form of ‘neurodiversity’— the neuro-biological reality that your brain has increased synaptic transmission and more elaborate synaptic connections as contrasted from “Normies” and that this makes you part of a particular population group that is innately different from the norm.
And yet, what is normal? We are living in a world that is increasingly deviating from normal conceptualisations of reality. In fact, the idea that normal exists at all is considered by some great thinkers to be merely a cultural concept, (e.g. Gabor Mate in his book the Myth of Normal) not a reality per se.
The scientific community increasingly acknowledges ‘neurodiversity’— as the biological reality that our brains are all wired differently.
Instead of an inconvenience to be erradicated, neurodiversity has always been considered an adaptive trait and even more so, is an evolutionary advantage, an essential component if humanity is to thrive and flourish as a species. Neurodiversity has been and continues to be an intrinsic factor in the development and continued success of the evolution and transformation of humanity.
We partake in a society that endorses conformity and fitting in to social norms. Our current culture doesn’t usually accept, understand or embrace these unique aspects and abilities; intense, gifted and passionate individuals are often deemed as ‘too much’, ‘too intense’, ‘not enough’, ‘too over-bearing’, ‘too dramatic’, ‘too sensitive’ or ‘too emotional’. Over-excitability is an innate intensity that indicates heightened ability to respond to stimuli, a super-power in fact. Found to a greater degree in creative and gifted individuals, these overexcitabilities are expressed in increased sensitivity, awareness and emotional sensitivity.
However many of you, because of your innate gifts, have been chronically misunderstood, judged and criticised or rejected. You may relate with the experience of low self-esteem, being plagued by chronic shame, limited self-worth, self-judgment, and criticised by a harsh Inner Critic. You may be prone to self-abandonment, subjugation, a Pleaser archetype and be unable to launch your full potential in the world.
We sadly also live in a society which constantly ensures that we think logically about everything, rationalise everything, which is a predisposition to living in left-brain ignorance. As a species, we rarely consult our heart wisdom. In fact, we are taught to doubt it, or we block the pain and push it down in an attempt to suppress the authentic language of our conscious heart.
We often ignore our gut feelings, and the stirrings of the Heart where the unconditional self-less love resides, in denial because of the power of the Rational, Logical left brain. Ego is safe, it is rational, it protects us from being Vulnerable, from being rejected and hurt again and again. So we build walls, we build Defences and denials and we avoid, run away, surrender to limited self-narratives or over-compensate with unhelpful coping styles.
We fear what we do not understand and this is potentially a factor that leads us to chronically shame others, such as with the Tall Poppy Syndrome. This “Othering” is very destructive, and keeps us divided.
At the heart of the problem lies not in our actual differences or Neurodivergence but in the judgment of the Other and our perceived indifference, compliance for and apathy to this Othering. By pathologizing, stigmatizing, and marginalizing sensitive or neuro-atypical individuals, we are creating more division, more suffering, more Collective Trauma. This division precludes the possibility for our human race to evolve towards a more integrated, wholistic and neuro-affirming medical model of healing.
If you have experienced trauma in childhood or developmental trauma growing up, it is quite possible that you fall into this neuro-diverse population. Often your parents could not give you the love, emotional nurturance and resources that you needed to thrive as a child for whatever reason, maybe they were traumatised too.
Often you have been traumatised by your perception of feeling somehow alien to others in the world and many of you might have been labelled with a disorder, mentally disabled, ostracised as a sub-human or pathologized as a broken human being. Ironically, being bullied, rejected and abandoned by significant others and society more broadly, having low self-esteem and chronic loneliness makes them even more likely to developing an actual mental disorder.
Perhaps you have also been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, BPD, Schizoaffective Disorder, and/or Complex PTSD, and you have tried many different therapists with not much success. It is understandable that many emotionally intense and highly sensitive people begin to believe something is fundamentally wrong with them somehow.
Having an emotionally intense personality or being a highly sensitive person is not inherently a mental disorder; it’s actually a good thing! These traits often indicate incredible capacity for empathy and compassion, having profound depth and substance, and often demonstrates high intelligence, unique talents, or innate gifts. Highly Sensitive People were not meant to fit in- in fact, you were meant to stand out, for your unique, innate super-power is a profound gift for healing and transformation!
Labels are a matter of convenience for use of language; however I recognise that emotions are raw, and raw is beyond labels.
Intense curiosity, over-empathy, high emotional sensitivity, hyper-focus, hyper-fixation, special interests, hyper-sensitivity to harsh environments, intellectual excitability, and being diagnosed as neuro-atypical can, with the right resources and support, all be harnessed as gifts in the right setting.
These neuro-atypical traits may not feel like blessings, but with adequate awareness, resources, skills, insight and healing the wounds from your childhood, you too can develop the capacity to not just use these gifts to succeed, but to genuinely move from surviving to thriving at life.
Don’t like the ND label? These terms are used to merely identify your unique traits, inherent needs and experiences. I will adopt your own language of understanding with heartfelt care.
Embracing your neuro-atypical traits, mastering your highly sensitive and emotionally intense nature and capacity for empathy or over-empathy, whilst others did not understand you and you often felt rejected, abandoned and traumatised is a core aspect of treatment and at the heart of how I practice on your journey towards thriving in a neurotypical world.
Our therapeutic space embodies a profound attunement for your unique experiences, your trauma and subsequent sensitivities, and harnessing of your exceptional qualities in a non-judgemental holding container. Together, we will explore the gifts as well as the challenges that align with your atypical traits and personality, and foster the resources and necessary inner work in order to thrive in a world that is at times bereft of understanding the beauty of who you are.